Elsie+Lock+2011

__Monday 13 June 2011__

A Journey to the Beach

It was the year 1987 on June 9 it is a great day to go to the beach but sadly for John he is just to far away. He begged and begged his parents to go to the beach but his parents told him “We can’t go to the beach because it’s 20 miles away from here and gas prices has shot through the roof!” Every day he would get ready to go to the beach and every day he would be turned down by his parents except for this day. John parents finally said that he could go and he shot up stairs to get ready. He got ready so fast that he beat is old time for getting ready. “John! Time to go! You don’t want us to change our minds do you?” said John’s parents. He raced down the stairs, ran out side, jumped in the car and sat there yelling “We’re going to the beach, we're going to the beach!”

Half way there John started to say “Are we there yet?” in a very irritating kind of voice “No, and stop asking.” “Ok.” said John. John started to get a little fidgety because it was taking so long. “Uh oh” said Johns dad “What?” said John “We’ve nearly run out of gas and I don’t think that there is another gas station for miles .” “So what are we going to do?” said John “I don’t know. Maybe we can keep driving just incase we see one.” So John and his family kept ont driving for a few miles and before they knew it they spotted a sign saying “Gas station 500 yards” John saw the sign as well and screamed in joy.

After they pulled to a stop in the gas station John asked his parents if he could go in and buy a coke for everyone and his parents said yes. John entered the gas station and looked for the cokes. His mouth watering waiting to taste the delicious taste of a coke. He saw the section for coke but they all ran out and John was a little disappointed but then he remembered that the best part of the day is still to come so he skipped on out of the gas station. “John are you ready to go and where is the coke?” said Johns mother “They ran out. Can we please go already?” “Your in luck because I just finished. I’ll just have to go inside and pay for the gas.” said John's father. John hurried into the car and quickly buckled in.

After a couple more miles of driving John and his family started to see the ocean. It was more beautiful than any other time that they have ever been to the beach and for John it was his first time ever seeing the beach in real life. “I found it, I found it!” said John “We see it too John. Isn’t it wonderful.” “It sure is.” said John. Johns dad parked the car near the beach and John shot out of the car like lightning and headed towards the beach. “Don’t go into the water yet John!” said Johns mother but John didn’t hear her over the beautiful sound of waves crashing onto the shore. John dived into the waves and rose with a big cheer. “We made it!”

The End

__Thursday 9 June 2011__

**Target - Next Steps** **Nicholas you are showing your American side "June" (really? this is winter) "gas" (petrol), "500 yards" (NZ use metric). This is not a problem, just made me chuckle :+) However in the first paragraph you change from past tense to present, can you find this? There are some parts of your story where you use really good description e.g. "His mouth watering waiting to taste the goodness of a coke" and other part where you are just telling information. Try editing your story and including more descriptive language e.g. Pulling to a stop in the gas station was a huge relief as everyones mouth was dry from the long journey"**

A Journey to the Beach

It was the year 1987 on June 9 it was a great day to go to the beach but sadly for John he was just to far away. He begged and begged his parents to go to the beach but his parents told him “We can’t go to the beach because it’s 20 miles away from here and gas prices has shot through the roof!” Every day he would get ready to go to the beach and every day he would be turned down by his parents except for this day. John parents finally said that he could go and he was so excited too. It was the quickest he had ever gotten ready for the beach and he timed himself every time to see if he can beat it every time and this time he did it in 13 seconds flat it is his new record. “John! Time to go! You don’t want us to change our minds do you?” said John’s parents. He raced down the stairs, ran out side, jumped in the car and sat there yelling “We’re going to the beach!”.

Half way there John started to say “Are we there yet?” in a very irritating kind of voice “No, and stop asking.” “Ok.” said John. John was starting to get a little fidgety because it was taking so long. “Uh oh” said Johns dad “What?” said John “We’ve nearly run out of gas and I don’t think that there is another gas station for miles .” “So what are we going to do?” said John “I don’t know. Maybe we can keep driving just incase we see one.” So John and his family just kept driving for a few miles and before they knew it they spotted a sign saying “Gas station 500 yards” John saw the sign as well and screamed in joy.

After they had reached the gas station John asked his parents if he could go in and buy a coke for everyone and his parents said yes. John entered the gas station and looked for the cokes. His mouth watering waiting to taste the goodness of a coke. He saw the section for coke but they all ran out and John was a little disappointed but then he remembered that the best part of the day is still to come so he skipped on out of the gas station. “John are you ready to go and where is the coke?” said Johns mother “They ran out. Can we please go already?” “Your in luck because I just finished. I’ll just have to go inside and pay for the gas.” John hurried into the car and quickly buckled in.

After a couple more miles of driving John and his family started to see the ocean. It was more beautiful than any other time that they have ever been to the beach and for John it was his first time ever seeing the beach in real life. “I found it, I found it!” said John “We see it to John. Isn’t it wonderful.” “It sure is.” said John. Johns dad parked the car near the beach and John was like lightning getting out of the car and towards the beach. “Don’t go into the water yet John!” said Johns mum but John didn’t hear her over the beautiful sound of waves crashing onto the shore. John dived into the waves and rose with a big cheer. “We made it!”

The End

__Wednesday 8 June 2011__

A Journey to the Beach

It was the year 1987 on June 8 it was a great day to go to the beach but sadly for John he was just to far away. He begged and begged his parents to go to the beach but his parents told him “We can’t go to the beach because it’s 20 miles away from here and gas prices has shot through the roof!” Every day he would get ready to go to the beach and every day he would be turned down by his parents except for this day. John parents finally said that he could go and he was so excited too. It was the quickest he had ever gotten ready for the beach and he timed himself every time to see if he can beat it every time and this time he did it in 13 seconds flat it is his new record. “John! Time to go! You don’t want us to change our minds do you?” said John’s parents. He raced down the stairs, ran out side, jumped in the car and sat there yelling “We’re going to the beach!”.

Half way there and John started to say “Are we there yet?” “No, and stop asking.” “Ok.” said John.

__Monday 16 May 2011__ Main Characters John Armstrong - Astronaut 1st ever human landing on Mars. Distant relative of Neil Armstrong Christie Armstrong - Wife of John going through hard time getting through the hard time of her husband leaving for 6 years and 4 months.

Scene: Year 2032 Missouri, Kansas City

Plot: John Armstrong is an astronaut who trained for 3 years to go to mars. His wife Christie Armstrong doesn’t want him to go because he is going to be gone for 6 years and 4 months. Without John being there she could not pay the bills for the power and put food on the table. John has his mind set to going to mars but also how his wife is going to be like when he is gone and when he gets back. He is thinking about what is going to be life on mars for the next 6 years. Will he meet aliens or will he find nothing?

 The Astronaut and his Wife It’s the year 2032. Times are tough for John and Christie Armstrong. They can’t pay the bills for the rent and soon they are going to have move out and live on the street. This happy couple live in Missouri, Kansas City. Their friend Jacob is trying to help them and find John a job. John was a pilot for jets and he made a lot of money but lost it all because he was a gambler.

One day Jacob comes rushing into their house shouting and screaming that he had found a job for John. “What is it!” John said. “Because you are an old pilot NASA contacted me asking me if you were available and I said you might. So if you want to do it I will have to notify them now.” “How long is the trip and where?” “It’s 6 years and 4 months and you are traveling to mars. You will be the first one to go to mars.” said Jacob. “Hold on I’ll have to talk to Christie.” said John. John went to go talk to christie about the job and see if she can approves of it. “How long are you going to be gone?” said Christie. “6 years and 4 months but after we will have enough money to pay the rent 1,000,000 times. Plus I will be the first person to ever land on mars.” “Ok...” said Christie.

After 3 years of training John was ready to take the first ever steps on mars.

__Wednesday 18 May 2011__

He said goodbye to his wife and he took his steps into the space shuttle. When he stepped into the shuttle he heard from NASA 5 minutes till lift off and he knew he had to get set up and ready quick. 5 minutes later he started to hear 10, 9, 8, 7 and he was thinking how life will be like on mars and when he gets back. Then it started to shake really violently he felt a little bit sick but it eventually went away. Then he saw the clouds getting closer and closer and soon he broke through Earths Atmosphere and started to head in the direction of mars. He turned the auto pilot on and he unbuckled himself and he started to float around. He went to his bed and went to sleep because it will take a year just to get there.

Great story Nick, I really enjoyed you desriptive language, I like how you have used good present tens, but this bit didn't make sense his wife and he too his steps, didn't quite get it. <span style="color: #0000ff; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Good work Nick. (Luke C.N)

<span style="color: #000000; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">__Thursday 19 May 2011__

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">On earth Christie every night cries herself to sleep. One night she had a dream that the space ship malfunctioned and blew up. It got so bad that she had to go to therapy a couple of times but she got through it. On the shuttle when he sleeps they don’t know it but they sleep for 1 week in outer space when it seems that they sleep for a couple of hours. So John felt pretty hungry so he got up and ate a sandwich. When you are in space your muscles don’t get used very much because you are floating around everywhere so John had to start to do some exercise on the treadmill while strapped in so that his muscles wouldn’t collapse.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">__Friday 20 May 2011__

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">It has been 11 months and John was starting to feel home sick but then he looked through the window and he saw it the big red planet Mars. He knew how much responsibility he had and he forgot some of it so he made contact with NASA. “Hello Houston” “Hello John. I hope that your journey was successful.” “Yes it was I am about to come into orbit of the big red planet but I have forgotten part of my job can you remind me again please?” said John. “Your mission is to land on mars take the land rover and collect some samples for us. Also we have someone that would like to talk to you.” Is that you John?” “Christie! Yes it is! Are you copping alright?” “Yea I am. I just need you to make it back to me in one piece ok?” “

__Thursday 26 May 2011__

After landing on mars and been living on it for 2 years John was starting to feel lonely all he had was dust and rocks from a deserted planet but a week later he felt like he was going crazy. That night he thought he saw his wife outside of the ship and was calling for him to come to her and another night he thought that he was being watched by something, something that wasn’t imaginary. Then he heard noises coming from the cock pit and he rushed into it but nothing was there nothing but a green slime substance.

4 years have passed and he only has 1 more year to stay on the planet. It was time to go out onto the land rover and drive across the red planet to collect some samples.

__Friday 27 May 2011__

Once he had the rover he had to assemble it first because it was to big to fit onto the ship when it is assembled. It took John about an hour to do it but it worked. John was on the rover looking for some samples to take back to Earth and while he was out he saw something strange it didn’t look like anything he has ever seen. There were thousands of them. Small fur balls bouncing up and down and they had like a small town. Some of them saw him and reacted immediately, they ran away and started to cry out for help in a language he has never heard before.

__Monday 30 May 2011__

Then he started to hear loud footsteps. They were gradually getting louder and louder. He looked all around him but there was no sight of the thing that was making those footstep noises but then he looked down and saw giant footsteps right in front of him. They were about 5 times bigger than his foot. Then he felt like he was being lifted he looked down and he actually was being lifted. He felt a tremendous amount of pressure on his chest and he felt like 300 pounds were on his chest. Then the creature that was holding him through him so far and landed on the ground with a big thud! He was hurting but he knew he had to get out of there. He heard the monster starting to run after John got up and started to run back to the ship. The monster then saw the land rover and it picked it up and through it at John. It was coming straight for him and he knew that he would have to get out of the way so he jumped to the right trying to dodge it and he did but it was so close from hitting him. He looked back and the monster was gaining on him him then all of the sudden he started to see the monster it was starting to reveal itself.

__Tuesday 7 June 2011__

It looked like it had no eyes but some antennas that it might have measured stress levels with. It had no skin on it just the ribs and the organs inside and it was about 10 feet tall. John got up as fast as he could and ran straight to the space ship to get inside. He was about 100 feet away and he knew that he had to get there fast because the monster was gaining on him. Then he remembered that he had the emergency gun on his belt so he unclipped it and started to fire at the monster. It looked like it was doing a lot of damage. Then he saw the heart of the monster he tried shooting at it but it was too far away to hit so he decided to stand there for a bit waiting for the monster to come close so that he could shoot it. It charged right at him John had his gun ready to shoot it. When it was about 30 feet away he started to shoot he missed and missed until the monster was about to jump on him. He shot him right in the heart and instead of dropping to the ground itblew up and green slime flew every where.